This morning I made an extra effort to get up early and go workout. Though things didn't go according to plan, I still felt good about myself for making the effort.

The plan was to meet over at the other Meagan's house and ride bikes.

I decided this would be a good idea after Lacy told me how much of an ass she developed after beginning to ride her bike.

When I showed up, I helped Meagan put air into the tires. Once that was complete we were ready to head out on our mission, or so we thought. Apparently on of the pedals on my bike was missing.

Meagan found a bracket in the garage that we were going to duck-tape to the remaining portion of the pedal.

Low and behold, it worked!

Until we started pedaling down the street, where our tires began to lose air, the chains started skipping and Meagan's bike began perturbing this terrible clicking noise that we pretended was a pimp-ass sound effect.

The lesson: don't let the little neighborhood kids borrow your bikes without supervision, they will tear that shit up!

Stevi ended up calling, so we went and had a taco with her instead. At least we tried!

Happy Thursday.

Last night, Brawn was out of town. I drove to Dallas and had dinner at the beloved Chuys with Lacy and Reagan.

After dinner we went to Reagan's house for drinks and some hot tub action. But before I could dive into the hot tub I fell in love. Reagan's kitchen is covered in this patch work tile design complete with hunter green, baby pink, salmon, mint green, light blue, peach, white, mustard yellow and yes, speckle blue (which tied it all together.) Not only is Reagan lucky enough to have his kitchen resemble a quilt my grandmother once made for me when I was 10, but his bathroom and shower are smothered with this adorable tile as well. Reagan considers it a curse, I call it fate.

Note to Reagan: You might procede with caution. It is possible that Lacy is using you for your tile. (& your hot tub.)

Now that I am done gushing over my new found love of patch work tile, last nights conversations sparked another burried passion of mine; singing. I honestly can't remember what started the talk in the first place, but one thing led to another and I decided to pursue a guitarist to sing with. Why I hadn't thought of looking sooner, I don't know. It is on my list of things to do this year, at the end of last year I was hanging out with a guitarist who was ready to start a band but got ill and couldn't continue and then I gave up.

My flame has been ignited once more. This morning I hit craigslist and replied to three ads. I heard back from each of them.

• One is going to call me back in bit.
• Two is going to send me an mp3 of his music tonight.
• Three is emailing back and forth with me.
  

I think I am just going to go at this until I find what fits best. Here's to trying!

Brawn is a passionate person, however, his passion is reserved for a handful of things:

• Me
• Dogs
• His El Camino
• Carpentry

Since I got back from California, all Brawn has been thinking about it getting a motorcycle. It is really incredible how determined he is to get one. Mostly because I have never seen him so inclined to go after something before. He visualizes about it, he talks about it, he looks at pictures of them. All of the things someone involved in the Law of Attraction would tell you to do if you really wanted something. I am taking notice of the things that are being attracted to him as he pursues this passion.

• A friends parent who teaches motorcycle licensing course offers him a discounted price for the class.
• He is suddenly SUPER busy with work and bringing in very large pay checks.
• Several of his friends show up with bikes that let him ride there's.

I am literally sitting back and watching the law of attraction in action from a person who doesn't necessarily follow the principles. It's incredible. I am looking forward to the day when we are working toward something much greater and he says, "I have no idea how to make that happen." I will say, "do exactly what you did that got you your motorcycle."

Today, Monday the 24th, is moving day. Although I feel there will be a couple more "mini" moving days ahead as well. I went this morning after my workout and got boxes from our local grocery store. They so kindly keep their milk boxes stacked nicely in the back for people like me to come and take for free! It beats the hell out of digging boxes out of the dumpster from behind Wal-mart, that's for sure.

Brawn got home early today. I some how coaxed him into calling the electric company and getting the power scheduled to turn on Wednesday (he hates dealing with official, grown-up things like that.) His grandparents have been trying to get him to make time to get his truck title changed over to his name for several months now. I think I am the only one who can motivate him to do things, weird, I know.

My to-do list is getting smaller by the minute and the things cluttering this apartment I am axious to get out of are getting fewer and fewer! I can smell a house warming party in the making!

Whatever the slump I was in was, has now passed. I can't begin to describe how particularly amazing it feels being back in the swing of things. I think all it really took was getting out of my head and start acting like nothing was wrong. Before long, wasn't anything wrong anymore. #Nice

This evening was our first swim of the season!

I got caught up on my work earlier, balanced my check book, wrote down my top 5 goals to finish tomorrow and went swimming at a friends house. Brawn (the BF) made himself at home in his creepy blue floaty. (I never did figure out what that thing was.)

This week we move into our "new" house. I am super excited. I will now have the space to plant beautiful flowers, create a vegetable garden and make myself a home. I have been longing to do this for a great deal of time now. After being on the road and having no "real" home for over 3 months, I am ready to break out my art supplies and get busy!

There will be many photo's to come of my beautiful, cozy, home.

Yesterday I was in pain. I woke up with killer cramps and couldn't sleep and then my arthritis in my wrist was being ridiculous. Stephenie had some hydrocodone from her dental surgery and gave me a pill. When one didn't work I took another. I also smoked some reefer on top of all that (maybe I had a couple beers as well.)

I am not a pill popper. I can't even remember the last time I took prescription medication. However, last night I appreciated having those pills. I was left in this euphoric state of bliss.

As I sat around the grill with all my friends, a 30 foot, blow up slip and slide while music filled the air, my heart began to sing. I thought to myself, "I am so glad I came back." So glad I realized I can have my cake and eat it to.

I am grateful, SO GREAT-FULL for this life that I leave and the people that reside in it. I don't think I will ever stop giving thanks for that.

Now to finish up with work so I can meet everyone on the lake! I hope you enjoy your weekend as well. Don't forget to count your blessings.

For as long as I can remember I have never loved my body. In my mind, I was always too fat, too thick, too white, too flabby, too blah, blah, blah, blah...BLEH.

I will be 24 in September. Looking back at pictures of me when I was between the ages of 14 and 18, I can remember at that time, how insecure I was with myself. But seeing those photos now make me realize how good I actually looked. At this moment, I would kill to fit into a size 10 again. Maybe the extent of my passion would only result in a dead house fly, but still you get my desire.

So far this week I have walked 11 miles, sweated the entire distance and threw in some lunges and weight lifts.

For the record, I feel good.

In this moment, I love my body. I am grateful for everything it provides me with; the ability to move, to work, to run, to LIVE! I want to nourish it the way it has nourished me.

I do not know if I will ever be able to fit into a size 10 again, (but would love it if that happened.) I do know that I am going to continue exercising daily because it makes me feel better about myself. It provides me with motivation to do other things and wear clothes that show off my girlish figure.

Cheers! To thick thighs, a tight ass and flab-less arms!

I have so many thoughts and ideas swarming in my head. So much so that soon after I write a post for my blog, I want to start another one. But I figure I won't overwhelm you or myself and let things remain spaced out.

I know, that where I am is perfect. There is nothing wrong here. It is not "suppose" to be any other way then it is in this moment. But, I can't push aside the feeling that I am on the verge of discovering something along the lines of an epiphany.

I am sitting here, in limbo. I have been here for sometime now, at least since I came back from California. I am teetering on the edge of... no.... wait... I am so far from the edge of anything, I feel like I am wandering aimlessly in the desert.

There was a large portion of my life when I felt like I had something tremendous to offer the world and I knew exactly what that was.

In this moment, I can honestly say I have no idea what it is that I am suppose to make of myself.

So, for the time being, I am continuing to do what I have been doing. Creating workshops, leading them, traveling, etc. But is it what I really want? I am not sure. At the moment, all the hustle and bustle doesn't really resonate with me.

Who Am I?
What Am I here for?
How can I help others?

I feel somewhat ridiculous even asking those questions because I have the answers for them.

But when I say them now, I am asking on a deeper level. A level that I have never known before, I level I have no idea how to reach.

I will keep reading books that get me to a better place with myself and the world around me. I will keep leading workshops that help people and I will leave my heart wide open for the Universe's gifts.

Le Sigh.

Twitter is over capacity- puh.

My walk this morning was a short one. Meagan (my exercise buddy) didn't show up. I called and texted and got no response. This is unusual from her. Or at least what I know of her. I just hope she is okay.

Total miles walked: 1
Total Britney Spears soundtracks listened to: 4

I know what you are thinking, but Britney is the only one who can get me in that fast paced walking groove.

I stopped afterward and got some Wendy's chili and nuggets. I know the nuggets are so good for me, but the chili only has 220 calories. Plus there are lots of vegetables and what not. So I feel pretty good about my choices.

Grateful
Today I am grateful for the beautiful park I have to walk in. The grass is always mowed and green. The pond is always litter free, filled with turtles, ducks, various birds and fish. My favorite part are the 3-4 cardinals that fly around the trails. All of them so vibrantly red. It makes my walk enjoyable, refreshing and it gives me something to look forward to.

Do You Have One?
I am looking for a refrigerator. So if you have an extra one, I need it.

What Good Have I Done This Week?
Last night Brawn got home from Oklahoma where he had two full days of hard work and then a 6 hour drive home. Without him having to ask I gave him a really great back, hand and forearm massage. I also bought some ear candles earlier that day and went to town. It was pretty awesome. I am not sure why looking at the things that protrude from our bodies is so intriguing, but it held my attention for at least 5 minutes.

Health
Today is day two of walking with my workout buddy. Today is also the day she makes her way to Whole Foods to purchase me some bee pollen. I created an affirmation around my allergies.

I am healthy, well and vital.
Air flows freely to and from my nostrils.

I am choosing to believe that this bee pollen is the cure for what ailes me.

Waking up at 6:30 a.m. has been a problem for me. Although I must commend myself for having gotten up at 8:15 a.m. (go me!) This is a start. The new asignments I have at work require me to be on the computer by 7:00 a.m. I am working towards being able to meditate and get centered before getting to work. I know I will get there. I just have to keep aiming at my goal.

Getting out of bed at dawn is effortless, fun and easy for me.

Affirmations work. I use to think they were corny and only worked for some people. But last I was reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and she said "affirmations that are used consistently become beliefs and will always produce results, sometimes in ways that we cannot even imagine." I am now a believer in affirmations, that phrase made sense to me.

Mother
My mom is going through a hard time. I believe it is going to become more difficult before it actually gets better. In the near future she might be forced to take responsibility for her actions in order to get the help that she needs. I can't imagine it being a fun place for her to be in.

Mom: I love you. I am here for you. I accept you. I release you from your past and I look lovingly on your future. I am here. I SEE you.

Can you feel my love?